Abeke

Chapter 7

"Listen to me very carefully and please don't talk till I'm done." He looked confused.

"What's going on?"

"I want to tell you something really important to me." I gave a loud sigh.

"It's about my past."

 I bent my head as I started narrating my story, a story that hasn't been heard by many, one that would determine if he would still have whatever feelings he has for me.

"I was abused at a very tender age when I was nine I think. I grew up in an area where abuse was paramount. It started from friendly gestures by those guys, then they started touching my body. It happened so fast that I just couldn't stop it. Once, twice, then countless times. I got so used to it that masturbation took over. I couldn't stop myself from the temptation. Fortunately, I was helped at a conference I went for, the organizers educated us on the dangers of masturbation and told us we could free ourselves from it. After that day, I became a free person and I turned down their requests. During my University days, I tried being in relationships but they didn't work. I was scared that they'd be disappointed when they find out about me, so most times, my relationships were not long term. It got to a time, I stopped thinking about being in any, cause they never worked. I don't know why I'm telling you, probably because you look like a good man, and you deserve to know the truth. I'm sorry."

After narrating all to him, I looked up at him. He didn't say anything for a while. I called his name but he didn't answer. He stood up and walked away. I  couldn't call him back, I bowed my head as I shed uncontrollable tears.

I woke up the next day, which was Saturday. I looked at my phone, -one missed call from my mum-, I looked at my phone again. My mum had never called, at least not since after our fall out.

"Hello, ma. Ekaaro."

"Kaaro o."

"You called me ma."

"Yes, I did. I need to see you, it's important. Can you come today?." she sounded really worried 

"Okay ma," I replied, before ending the call.

I took my bath and wore my favourite t-shirt which had girls like me imprinted on the front. I wore my sunglasses since it was pretty sunny outside and finished it up with the black slippers that were gotten for me by my mum. I entered my black Camaro and revved my car engine thinking of what  could have been the problem.

I got to her place about 30 minutes after and greeted her as usual. She hugged me, which was really surprising, cause she never did.

"Mami, what's wrong?" I asked after breaking free from the tight hug.

"I'm sick."

"What do you mean by that mum? how can you be sick?

"I have cancer."

I felt a slight headache, I wasn't sure I heard her correctly.

"Cancer?, How?, Since when? why didn't you tell me?" I wasn't ready for this, I haven't really gotten over yesterday's incident. I felt my eyes tear up..Why is this happening to me. 

It's stage 4.

I burst into tears. My mum was the one consoling me. 

"Why didn't you tell me when you found out?"

"I didn't want you to be worried," she said smiling. "Your siblings are aware though"

"Wow, can't believe I'm the last person to hear this." I scoffed

"I'll be fine Abeke, be strong for me."

After a few minutes, I decided to summon the courage to ask her if there was any room for improvement.

"Can't anything be done?"

"No dear, you're educated, you should know about these things."

Two months later, my mummy died. I felt so hopeless. Kunle and Rhoda tried making me feel better, but it didn't work. I wanted Brian to be there, I missed him. My siblings decided to make things worse. How?. After the burial, we had a family meeting and rather than talking about crucial issues, the issue of my marriage was discussed.

"Abeke stop being a child!!" Valerie, my immediate elder sister shouted. "You're 27."

"Daphne!!" Wilson, my elder brother and firstborn called me.

I looked up at him.

"I understand that you have problems with marriage.."

"I don't have any problem with marriage, I blurted out. Can you guys please stop? Mother has just been laid to rest. Let's mourn her today and thrash out other issues later. I'm tired abeg"

After my statement, I heard footsteps, I looked up, saw someone that I wasn't expecting. Those long legs and masculine body. And yes, his cologne, so distinct that I could spot it anywhere.

"Hello, Beks." He looked me straight in the eyes as he called me. Those blue eyes,  smiling at me.

"What do you want Brian?"

He was taken aback by my outburst.

"I don't understand."

I gave a mocking laugh. "You left me when I needed you the most, you weren't there, you made me feel miserable. I opened my heart to you and you left me. You left me Brian, and now you're back like nothing happened. Please do not humour me."

"Let me explain." He stretched out his hand to touch me. I moved back.

"Get out of here Brian. I don't want to ever see you again"

My siblings stood there, watching our little theatrics, wondering what was happening. As soon as he left, I looked at their questioning faces.

I scoffed. "I'm definitely not telling you guys anything." I left them and ran to my room, weeping.

Few days after the burial, I tried to forget about everything, Brian inclusive. I have decided that I'm definitely not cut out for relationships not to talk of getting married. I need to focus on my work now. Scratch that, who I'm I deceiving. I wished he pushed harder when he came to see me at my mum's burial. He just stood there, like a statue. Damn, I'm angry

"Hey beks, do you need anything?" Rhoda called out a few minutes before I airing, cutting into my thoughts. 

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, and no, I don't need anything."

"Okay, you're up in five."

"Thanks" I replied smiling